Couples and Addiction Recovery
A Gottman Approach for couples to Addiction & Recovery and sober curiosity & Accountability…with a multidisciplinary component for Individualized therapy
Statistics show that 1 in 10 people who enter a therapy office or clinic have an addictive disorder, yet only about 10% receive treatment.
While addiction is often referred to as a “family disease,” current approaches in recovery do not provide treatments that address or account for the relationship between the person with an addiction and their partner. It’s time to change how we treat couples in recovery.
To help move our clients from addiction to recovery or sober curios to healthy maintenance, we need to know how to assess and treat addictive thoughts and behaviors, and to feel comfortable using tools and strategies to help couples address addiction and support recovery. Outcome research informs us that couples counseling combined with individual therapy is more effective than individual therapy alone in identifying addiction and in moving the person with the addiction and family into recovery or maintenance.
Couples and Addiction Recovery is a groundbreaking new approach for couples struggling with addiction as well as couples in recovery from alcohol, drugs, and/or behavioral addictions. This workshop can be done with a series of sessions and draws from the fields of addiction treatment, mental health, and couples counseling, and integrates current research findings with knowledge from clinical practice.
This therapy provides interventions and tools for a relational approach to healing that addresses three different but overlapping recoveries to include:
the person with the addictive issues
the partner
their relationship
What we will learn and explore together?
A solution-focused, family-systems, and research-based approach to help with a separate individualized treatment plan with our leading individual counseling specialist. Together we will :
Identify addiction
Break through denial
Navigate the challenging road from active addiction to recovery
Improve conflict management skills
Learn the difference between “codependency” and “interdependency” and how to identify and set appropriate boundaries
Develop a relationship recovery, while supporting their partner’s recovery and strengthening their own individual recovery
Heal from the aftermath of addiction
Move toward wellness as individuals and as a couple
The tools and interventions taught to couples and families are adapted from Gottman Method Couples Therapy to help develop a Couple Recovery plan through increasing communication and understanding, establishing appropriate boundaries, and healing from the impact of addiction and recovery. Participants will be provided with resources to use immediately to work more effectively with individual couples and/or with small groups of family members or friends.
More Therapeutic Benefits
Describe and critique the differences between the Couple Recovery Development Approach and the current most common approach in treating couples impacted by addiction
Explain the three components of the Couple Recovery Development Approach and their roles during recovery
Incorporate concepts and interventions from the Gottman Sound Relationship House Theory to help couples manage conflict
Explain the impact of addiction and recovery processes on the couple relationship
Analyze and differentiate feelings and behaviors associated with codependency and interdependency
Explain the neurobiology of addiction and the impact it can have on individuals and couples
Differentiate between mild, moderate, and high risks of problematic substance use and compulsive behaviors using assessment techniques
Apply therapeutic techniques to help break through denial
Apply interventions for helping couples manage conflict during addiction recovery
Recognize opportunities to utilize Recovery Card Map decks to facilitate couple recovery
What determines a substance use problem?
There is a difference between frequent substance use and substance abuse.
There is a continuum of use from “non-problematic” to “heavy use” to “use disorder” to “addiction”.
To learn more you can access the safe drinking guidelines.
A vicious cycle about alcohol and stress:
People often will use alcohol to reduce stress. However, alcohol increases and reinforces the stress system in the brain.
This type of use becomes cyclical because a person feels stressed and has a drink to alleviate the stress and then experiences more stress.
Is alcoholism a disease?
While most people who meet the criteria for a substance use disorder will not meet the criteria again in four years.
Whereas other people with continued and consistent use will experience significant changes in their brain structure which will constitute an addiction and a disease.
What happens if one person is using or drinking and it is an issue in the relationship?
Get information and education about the guidelines of substance use.
Have a conversation. Invite your partner to talk with you.
Bring up the topic of concern with your partner in a non-blaming way.
Here is what my observations and concerns are…
Here is what it means to me…
See about coming to some agreements together.
The person using may be willing to modify their use. If they are not willing to modify their use, then it might be important to explore why they are not willing to.
Look at risk factors (i.e. family history of substance abuse issues, use over time, increased use, daily use, etc.)
In the first year of recovery, what should a couple be aware of together?
Relapse rates are the highest in the first year, especially in the first 3 months.
Continued support from loved ones and family members is one of the highest predictors for success.
Having a substance healthy home environment is critical for the recovery process.
People in recovery often feel an involuntary thrust towards using. Their brain has been hijacked by the disease, and they do not have the normal stop-go mechanisms in their brain.
People in recovery have strong emotional memories and triggers.
“Relationships need attention in this transition (into recovery). Let’s not abandon couples when they need it the most.” Dr. Navarra
What promotes healing in the relationship?
Relationship-care and self-care can help the person in recovery and loved ones manage better.
Acknowledge the stigma and shame.
Get support, so that you can engage in healing and constructive conversations. We are so happy to help and be involved in this healing process with you!
Discuss these questions in a non-blaming way:
What has the impact of addiction been on you? And the relationship?
What is the impact of recovery been on you? And the relationship?
See the addiction as an intruder on your relationship.
How has the uninvited guest impacted you, your partner and your relationship?
Attend sessions with our team at South Tampa Therapy and our therapy treatment inspired by Dr. Navarra’s workshop “Roadmap For The Journey” to have H.E.A.R.T (Healing Emotions Addiction Recovery Trauma) conversations to heal addiction trauma.
When couples can emotionally attune and listen to the painful emotions of one another they begin to build trust together.
Mentioned, cited & peer reviewed:
Couples Recovery Empowerment (website)
Dr. Robert Navarra (website)
Roadmap For The Journey (workshop page)
Couples Recovery (Facebook page)
The Addictions Institute (website)
UC Santa Cruz – advanced drug & alcohol training program
Addictionologist – a doctor who studies and treats addiction.
If YOU or a loved one are ready to take the steps to make positive changes for your well-being or maintaining your sobriety in Florida, it is simple.
It is possible to gain confidence in yourself again and maintain your sobriety with support. As a therapy team, we are here to help. In fact, we can help you anywhere in the state with online therapy.
When you’re ready to begin, follow these steps:
Couples/ families meet with Dr. Elizabeth Mahaney Click here to schedule your first appointment Be sure to make a note if you would like a SUBSTANCE ABUSE multidisciplinary approach to individual and couples/family therapy
Individuals book separately with a substance abuse/addiction specialist who gets it.
Start learning the right tools for coping, communication, and connection.